The In-Laws

  I really enjoyed reading the chapter 37 creating healthy ties with in-laws and extended family. I believe that is very important for spouses especially newlyweds to focus on each other, but also respecting each other's parents. I really enjoyed the scriptures of Genesis 2:24 therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife I enjoy reading this picture because it shows how important it is for new spouses and spouses to Cleveland to each other. Like how it says in the ribbon from the definition of the "Oxford English Dictionary defines cleaving as" to remain attached devoted or faithful to "and "to remain steadfast". I think it's such a beautiful definition. When I hear leaving I thought also up holding onto and not letting go. What president Spencer W Kimball was very important and show how important the relationship of family is in a marriage." First married children should confess in an console with their spouse. Second if possible they should establish their own household, separated from their parents. finally any counsel from outside sources should be considered prey fully by both spouse together. I thought that was very important to pray together as spouse if you have outside resources because it helps you understand if it's the right thing for you or not when you pray together Heavenly Father will bless who are seeking answers. That best suit you. I also enjoy to know how important it is to have peace upon your in-laws and family members. I feel that is very important because they are your spouse's parents. Even though I do not live close to my in-laws I still have respect for them and thank them for what they do to help my family be blessed.  It helps me to be a future better mother-in-law for my children. We also have to be patient with mother-in-laws because they are mothers of their children and we can see how much they love this children but also let them know how much you love them too so they can feel love from the person that married their the mom children.

The role of mother and Father

  I really like to talk about who is the boss. I agree with the talk the parents are the leader of the family. We are at the example for our children. I like the quote from president Spencer W Kimball" discipline is probably one of the most important element in which the mother and the father can lead and guide and direct their children..... setting limits to what a child can do means to the child that you love him and respect him.... if you permit the shout to do all the things he would like to do without any limits that means to him that you do not care much about him." I so agree with President Spencer W Kimball says I know of someone that their parents didn't have any control over the child and let the shell do whatever he wanted so he didn't really have that much respect for his parents. Me and my husband agree to be a team when we set rules for our children. I believe I said parent we are to guide our children in the way that they can grow up knowing what's right and wrong. And by us telling our son don't do that don't do this I feel that it helps him to know that we're there to help them to be guided the right way since he is just two years old. I believe when he gets older that he will have his own ways of making choices but that he know that me and his father taught him when he was little what is right and what is wrong. We wanted to use free agency but in a way that doesn't let him to do whatever he wants to do and to understand what there are consequences if you do the things that you shouldn't be doing. That is something my father taught me. He said you make your choice but then if you make a wrong choice you will pay the consequences of that choice. So that make me have freedom but I also know that if I choose to do something that I know it's not right that I will pay the consequences and I will disappoint him. So yes I believe that parents should be there cutting their children even if you say no a lot when they're little it's okay.

Thinking that our Friends or are Core- workers are better than our spouse

I really enjoy reading the story about being Fideliny in marriage. What I have learned was that it is important to understand, that sometimes we can fall into a trap, thinking that our friends, or core workers. Are better than our spouse. I know because I compare my best friends to my husband. And I used to tell that to him that he's not like my best friend. I never realize  that was hurting my husband. I thought that that will motivate him to be like my friend. I didn't compare my husband with any of my coworkers. But as The Story Goes the wife was very in tune with her co-worker, then her own husband. Jane's sister was able to help her to realize what was going on with Jane's relationship with her husband. one thing that  I was grateful that my husband help me understand thing that my frend is not my husband. That your friend would just be your friend he's not married to you so things are not going to be the same if he was married to me. I was like okay. You don't know what you're talking about. Even though I didn't see my friend I always compare him because I had a great friendship with my best friend. And I never realize that even though I was not hanging out with and it affected my marriage. After I read the story I feel very bad and sad that it made me realize that my husband had a point and I was so wrong. What I have learned was that you can't change a person. But you can change yourself. And they will see your change and motivate them to change for themselves. I'm thankful that I read the story I apologize to my husband. And also made me realize how Satan works he works little by little until he has a hold of you cuz what he did with her. What the woman in in the story, little by little she was focusing on her co-worker rather than her husband. And she was pushing her husband away by the way she was acting towards them. So hopefully she was able to talk to the bishop and work things out with her husband. 

Your spouse imperfection

It was humbling to hear the story again about grapefruit. It made me cry because it made me realize that we shouldn't be so picky over spouse imperfection. Or the little habits that they have. What a beautiful teaching moment when the husband said" I can't think of anything I don't like about you. It was a teaching moment for me. I even share the story to my husband about the story about the grapefruit. We feel that is very important to have a better understanding how to deal with the things that can be annoying to us and not let that run our life. That can cause conflict.

As I was reading the book in library during work time. I showed this to my coworker. I just felt this very important to know this." God will have humble people. Either we can choose to be humble or we can be compelled to be humble... Let us choose to be humble.

We feel that it will be harder for us to be compelled to be humble than us to Humble ourselves how easier would that be. And how it can help us to grow but us doing our part. Bye forgiving and repenting. I'm still learning the process of repentance. And I also really like when they said that to "see our spot with compassion." I totally change the way you see your spouse.  It also helped me to learn about letting your partner influence you and how you can use that in a good way. Not in a way that someone has more power than. I really like how they first open the story about the guy trying to buy the Honda and he didn't want to buy the Honda right away because he told his wife that he would have a mechanic too see the car before he purchases it. It really shows a good  partnership. And how the husband respected his wife by doing what she asked him to do.

What a great way to see that just by listening to your spouse can help you see in a different way that you might have got see it.

charity

What I learned in Gaddard. It was Nene profound principles that are apply in daily life, but the most important is in your own marriage. And that is charity. In the beginning of the chapter the quote says "Pray unto the Fathwr with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love. And I thought to myself why is that in so important." I thought that was very powerful right away. The reason why I felt that was powerful is because. Is easier to focus on the negative and the positive. And by focusing on the negative we tend to harden our hearts. So bye hardening or heart there is no room for love. So it's very important to rely on prayer that we will have a heart filled with love. What is charity? "It is the pure love of Christ. Christ show us to love and to have charity towards other through his examples. When the book  form Goddard drawing Heaven into your marriage .talks about the woman that burst  in the courtyard, the woman show pure charity and love for Christ bye anointed his feet with oil. And God forgave her from her sins. What a great example we can use on our own spouse. The way we show charity towards our spouses and pure love for them it is by forgive for what they have done to us. And that is something I have learned that I have to forgive my husband, for the things that he has done in the past. Another thing it is to have thing is to have charity towards him. To have pure love and support to help him in his needs. And one thing I have to remember that we're not all perfect even I need to be forgiven for the things that I have done to him. What a great gift it is to have charity. I really like this statement " we are invited to cover their weaknesses with our charity." I really like what they said.  We learn humbleness by applying charity, and it helped us to become more like our Heavenly Father. And Jesus Christ. I Believe by having charity help us also to see the better side of our spouse because we are focusing and the good things they do and not the things that bother you the most. I'm happy for what I have learned and how I can apply it in my daily life.

what is love

  This week I learned about the  law of consecration. what is the low if consecration ? " The liw of commandment in the Latter Day Saint movement in which adherents promise to dedicate their lives and material substance to the church. It was first referred to in 1831 by Joseph Smith and today is practiced to different extents by members of the various Latter Day Saint sects." It also has a great explanation it in the book from Goddard  drawing Heaven into Universe. with was a learning experience for me. I never thought that the law of consecration could be apply it in our marriage. As I read the chapter 6 Goddard I received a humbling experience, I know have a better understanding of the law of consecration in marriage. I like this quote “marriage provides glorious opportunity to practice consecration. Just as I sick was willing to give his life as the ultimate exoresion of commitment to God, so we are invited to dedicate our lives, our talents, our weekends, and our weakness to the sacred enterpris sacrificing our marriage and ultimate perfecting our souls". When I read it my soul was full and I feel sad because I never saw it that way, never thought that loving and caring and serving is the way that help us understand more about the law of consecration. This chapter made me feel to be a better person not just in my marriage but all around. I also learned that it is very important to forgive are spouse, so as we are able to forgive them, our hearts will be full of love and caring not hatred and anger. I also learned that the law and consecration it is the law of our Heavenly Father. I'm thankful for this week's lesson I learned a lot.  I also was more impressed and ever of the story of Abraham and Isaac just I have heard the story about Abraham and Isaac and it never really hit me the way I read it in the book. The pure love that Isaac had for God was so impressive. He's had a humble heart. I told my husband to read this part of the book and he was so sad also and cried because he feels something he said I don't think I can ever do that to my son. I thought the same. But the obedience that Abraham had for our God. It's a great example for us to learn that we are to give all we have to our Heavenly Father that is to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit.

Humble yourself

In my relationship with my spouse I feel like I was right and he was wrong. I never knew the importance of humbling yourself. As I've been studying in class I have realized that it's okay to be wrong. And it's okay to humble yourself. I thought by humbly myself my husband would take advantage of me. But I was so wrong, it caused me to be a better and unloving person. One thing I learned is that we shouldn't be picky of the imperfection that are spouses have. But we can work together to make it better.. the book that I pretty much learned a lot was drawing Heaven into your marriage by Goddard. One quote that I like about chapter 4 was " God will have bumble people. Either we can choose to be humble or we can be compelled to be humble. And that was very powerful.  I also learned that I being sarcastic it is a way of pride. And also but I just not talking to your spouse and giving him the cold shoulder, is also a prideful because you're not given an opportunity for him to express his point of view. This book has had a great influence in my marriage it's been helping me and my husband to grow together and being able to see ways that we can't not be prideful and push away each other.

Turning Towards Your Paether,

One of the sentences that I really liked on the book was "turning towards each other and building up their sense of trust". And I realize that is so true by turning towards each other a build such a great friendship that you will have a greater bondage and trusts towards your spouse. Is something that I realize that me and my husband need to work on as I was reading the book I told my husband can you please read this two pages. I was afraid that he was saying that right now I'm tired but he was willing to read it because he knew that I felt that it was important. When he read he smiled and start laughing and giggle. and it made me realize he knows what I'm trying to say and that is we need to work on this so we can be able to have a better relationship towards each other. When I asked him what he thought about it he just smiled. I told him that we needed this to help our relationship grow. And he agree. But that small simple act that he was willing to read the two pages make me happy. Because when I asked them he stopped what he was doing and gave me the full intention that I have not seen for a long time. I really am excited to work on the emotional bank account. We are excited to also try to go on a date without children so we can focus on the things that we need to work on. I have noticed a great big difference since we did the first activity and so I am excited to see the results of the second activity. Today my coworker was telling me that it's been really hard for her and her marriage and how she is just really to quit. I told her to what I learned. And I said to her did you do all that you could to save her marriage. And she replied no. I was excited to share some of the things I have learned this week. And the difference that has done in my marriage just by doing some of the activities from the book. I told her that I have been in that situation before but because I have been learning so much it has helped me to understand the important to fight for your marriage. And to see what you're struggling and how to build it stronger. And I told her the important of turning towards each as a couple. I told her about the story of the the brother from BYU Idaho that talked about turning towards another. How he change his perspective of doing things so I told her I was going to bring her the paper so she can read it. It only takes one person to make a difference.

Having fun getting to know your spouse

.Last time I talked about the importance of having your spouse being your best friend. what are fun ways to get to know your spous? why is it important to have fun to get to know your spouse. The book talks about the importance of having a love map and your relationship.  and I said to myself what is a love map?  it's knowing your partner's pretty well. For me for this exercise was amazing because I don't really have a  love  map in my relationship. By working the question games from the book the seven principles of making marriage work. had helped me a great deal and also the class that I'm taking at byui. Anyways the funny part of taking this question games that come in the book. I was able to get to know my husband better as he was able to get to know me better. For example I have told my husband my favorite food and as we were playing the game they ask what is your spouse favorite food.  and I was surprised that he didn't know. Because I have said it in front of him and I guess he didn't grasp it. What he put down was carne asada burritos, then taken as an offense because I know we're trying to get to know each other better and it's a game. I started laughing and I said no. I asked them what you think that I like burritos. and he said always because I buy them all the time. So I thought to myself wait a minute he is thinking of me in a way because he's trying to remember what I normally do. but I told him no burritos are not my favorite food it is enchiladas. The reason why I buy burritos is because that's the only thing open around 11 at night around our area. so we both started laughing. So that is why I think it's very important to get to know your partner's because you get to know better their needs and you're able to understand more of them.  I also learned it's very important to have a positive thought of your spouse.  and it's also really important to learn to cherish your partner. and talk about the important to minimize thoughts of negativism torture partner. to challenge yourself to have positive thoughts of the good things that your  Partners do. Always remember that no one's perfect they were all trying to become better and that is to help each other to fulfil those goals.

How to better your marriage

One of the things that we want is to have a happy marriage.
So how can we do that first thing first what I learned this week was very important for me. To have a great friendship with your spouse. When they said merry is hard yes it is challenging yes things do come up in a marriage. But the most important is to know your spouse pretty well. I learned by reading the seven principles of making your marriage work was important key that I didn't realize how important it is and what I learned is that your husband or wife should be your best friend. That means have a very close relationship and knowing all you can know about your spouse. Dr.Gottman " that happy marriage are based on a deep friendship. By this I mean a  mutual respect for the enjoyment of each other company" and that is what I'm working in my own marriage to become best friends with my own husband since I didn't have enough time to get to know him it's been really rough. But there is no giving up.

What a blessing it is to have a temple marriage.

I had a great opportunity to understand the difference between a covenant marriage and a civil marriage. When you are married and you have made a covenant of being with your spouse for time and all eternity that means you're with your spouse for the rest of your life and Beyond Death. When you marry and the when you married civilly your marriage ends on Earth like it says, two to death do us part.
I'm thankful for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I'm thankful for the temples. Because we have the temples were able to get married to our spots for time and all eternity and bless our family to be with us for the rest of our eternities. we make a covenant when we on the temple with our spouse. and as such a beautiful Covenant. My husband had a good talk today about the importance of a covenant marriage and a civil marriage. he said you work hard to make your marriage work because you just not made a contract you made a covenant. in the something you just throw away or just quit right away you work hard to make the marriage work. a contract you just rip it and throw it away like it's not a big deal. It's what keeps my husband to try to do the best we can to be a good husband and try to change his weaknesses to overcome them so he can be blessed to have his family for all the eternity. as I'm trying my best to to keep my family for time and all eternity. we're not perfect but we can try to be better each day.

protect Marriag

I really enjoyed reading, the letter by Katy Faust. I was really impressed about what she wrote to the Justus Kennedy. I was impressed that she was raised with gay parents. But she writes to the Justice Kennedy about the important to protect marriage between a man and a woman. And the importance of a child having a mother and a father.  She stated that the most traumatic event was when her was when her parents divorced. And what she said got me to think about how important it is to have the two parents and the life of the child. She stated" kids wants their mother and father to love them and to love each other" and by reading this quote makes me think oh my goodness I need to try harder in my marriage. Because I want the best for my children.
                I also enjoy reading Elder Russell M Nelson disciple of Jesus Christ defender of marriage. I really like this part what Elder Nelson Said there is great power in a strong partnership. “A true partnership can achieve more than the sum of each action alone." that really meant something to me that it, was engraved in my mind. And I realizing the important of having a partner that you can working together. To up sheave family goals. I also learned the importance of being a disciple, and how we can stand to defend marriage. I was happy to realize that I am trying to protect marriage, by trying to do the best I can in my marriage. Second helping my friends not to give up in her own marriage. I have talked to her and taught her what I have learned in class. Today was a good example she's not a member of the church, but she said that her husband does not drink. She was surprised of what I said. I told her that she should be proud that her husband that does not drink. I told that I hated seeing my parents drink and how it can ruin families, but how my father changed when I was 8th and he became a member of the church and he stopped to drink. And how that bless my family. She did not say anything but she was surprised that I said what I said. 

Times are changing

            Times are changing for the worst. Have you thought of ways to protect your family?

This week in class” family 300”, I read topics and quotes about divorce. One of the topics that stood out the most was by President Kimball stating “Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around them.”

After reading this assignment, I pondered about the time this quote was published and what it meant at the time up to the present day. Every day the world is moving farther and farther away from gospel principles. As a child I can remember television was much more family friendly, most channels that were popular had show’s that were based on daily family life, for example “Full House”,Blossom”,Family Matters”. I can’t think of a current family based television show today that doesn’t in one way or another promote immorality.  One of the biggest social declines in the recent years is the popularity of divorce. From my memory I can recall back in 1992 watching on the local news station how one needed a strong valid reason and a lot of money to get divorced; now days it’s easier to get divorced, one only needs to fill out some paperwork and pay a small fee.

Some ideas that I have to protect my family involve setting aside time to communicate and listen to the needs of my family. On Sundays after church as a family we avoid turning on any electronics, this allows our family to shut out the world helping us to create a stronger bond through our interactions with each other. As a safety precaution I put a security block on rated R movies. I also am cautious of any movie that target my children. Even children shows may have foul hummer that children shouldn’t be listening to.

There is no greater joy than knowing your family is being protected. Starting today just might save them.